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July 24, 1677

Lessons without Carols

Things that have been learned in the past week before a less than triumphal return:

1) It takes more than a week to return from Chatham to London if one is inclined to make a scientific study of all the bawdy houses between the two points. I can now say from experience that the women of Tewksbury are especially accommodating, while those that reside in Salisbury suffer badly from the Scabies, and water down their ale.

2) Jack is a thief. Worse still, according to Lloyds, a very stupid thief. As much as I am inclined to snap his scrawny neck, it is far more prudent to “get mine back” at a later date, When I do, it shall be an especially loathsome and drawn out punishment. For now, I shall content myself to sleeping with his scullery maid.

3) I am not alone in being hunted. Jack has also received a message from the exceedingly tedious EJT. Furthermore, the nasty little piece of work was not content to send just one.

Papist Dog –

You and your Dwarven friend have only a short time left before Judgement. On the 10th of August you may expect Retribution in its purest and Most Virulent form. The Ocean shall be your grave, and that grave shall be a wet one.

Yours in Hatred and Intense Dissatisfaction,



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