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April 9, 1677

Do You Know This Man?

Despicable and Hateful Name: Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury

Aliases/Nicknames: Swing Em’ High Shaftesbury, Beezlebub, Coop

Height: 5”2

Weight: 12 Stones

Eye Color: Red

Hair Color: Black wig, bald underneath

Known Associations: Patron of hack writer John Locke, the Cabal, the Duke of Monmouth

Crimes: Malfeasance, Decrepitude, Sniggering, Being Generally Hateful

If seen, do not approach the Earl of Shaftesbury but instead toss rotten fruit in his vicinity. A good cudgeling might also do him some good.


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