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April 9

Do You Know This Man?


Despicable and Hateful Name: Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury

Aliases/Nicknames: Swing Em’ High Shaftesbury, Beezlebub, Coop

Height: 5”2

Weight: 12 Stones

Eye Color: Red

Hair Color: Black wig, bald underneath

Known Associations: Patron of hack writer John Locke, the Cabal, the Duke of Monmouth

Crimes: Malfeasance, Decrepitude, Sniggering, Being Generally Hateful

If seen, do not approach the Earl of Shaftesbury but instead toss rotten fruit in his vicinity. A good cudgeling might also do him some good.

April 8

A bit of a sticky wicket

 My previous post was not entirely honest. While it is true that I was not in gaol these past few months, my disappearance was one of necessity rather than of choice.

Titus Oates and his mob rule have gripped the city, as such, no Catholic is allowed within ten miles of London. My belief was that when Oates accused the Queen of attempteing to poison Charles (in league with the Court Physician) – that he had gone a step too far. Instead, we have seen the passing of the Second Test Act, which restricts Catholics from holding office, as well as the burning of effigies of the Pope on Guy Fawkes Day, instead of Fawkes himself.

Where does this leave me? Well, in a bit of a rum situation. The only reason I remain in London is on the sufferance of Jack, who now views my fortune as his own. He has taken and sold all my fine clothes, on the premise that I should remain inconspicuous. The good news is that Rebecca has publicly denounced me. So I have that in my favor, which is a boon.

The necessity of Employment


Months have passed and dust has begun to collect on this blog. I happy to inform my dedicated readers that my absence can be explained quite happily, I was not in gaol, but have instead found new employment as a gravedigger. Now, while I have no need for a job, considering that I am still despicably wealthy, the position does offer me several opportunities:

1. I get to get out of the house and away from Rebecca.

2. Anything I can remove from the bodies without family members noticing is considered mine to keep.

 3. I get to carry a shovel.

Patrick is particularly excited about my job as it offers him the faint possibility of regaining the positions we mistakenly buried. My hope is that he joins me on the job, so there will be at least one other person to keep the crows at bay when they circle overhead.