A Plea to My Friends
It took me full three hours after waking this morning to notice that the house was uncharacteristically peaceful, and that the reason for this new-found tranquility was the unexpected absence of both Patrick and Sean from the premises. And it was only just now that I remembered why it was that they were gone. My recollection is somewhat hazy on the subject, but the substance of the matter is that I may have accidentally set the dogs upon them last night in the course of a heated discussion that we were having about house guests who have outstayed their welcome. It has been almost a full day now since the event, and I am quite concerned that they may have interpreted it to mean that they are no longer welcome here, which is not true, as I find myself completely at a loose end without them. So, Patrick, Sean: If you are perchance reading this, please be advised that although I consider it pretty shabby of you both to have left so abruptly, I shall not stand upon ceremony and ask for an apology. You may return at any time that suits you, and we shall let bygones be bygones.
Update: My manservant, George, informs me that the conversation about house guests which I refer to above only took place in my head. Apparently, I walked out of my chambers and set the dogs upon them without provocation while they were dining. I will admit that this was perhaps a little extreme and I apologize for it, though I am certain they must have done something to deserve it. Nonetheless, this may be a good time to impose some restrictions on my afternoon drinking habits.
Late Update: As Addy points out, this incident was clearly not my fault at all. George has been summarily let go, and as soon as he recovers from the dog bite, I may well press charges against him for his shameful negligence in this matter.
Stumble It!
Whilst you're at it, you might as well chuck George out for failing to stop you drinking without due care and attempting to kill your friends.
I take it the dogs were of the large and ferocious kind and not armpit dogs.
Posted by: addy farmer | October 21, 2008 at 08:32 AM
A truly enlightened idea, my friend. He shall be dismissed forthwith. My poor dogs won't have a moment's rest this week!
Posted by: Jack | October 21, 2008 at 10:50 AM
In their exuberance, your dogs have left "little gifts" for me on my lawn. Please remove them forwith.
Posted by: William Barclyfe | October 23, 2008 at 03:47 PM