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February 18

A Medical Request

In an unlikely move, Sean approached me this Thursday past and, forgoing his usual greeting - "Pat, you ignorant hussy!" - for a polite "How are you today?" asked me for some discreet medical help.

He hath encountered a woman who  troubled his insides, he explained, and further, he hath suggested that the cause of the trouble is neither the clap nor the canker, for he hath not yet so much as held the door for her. 

I suspect a sudden surfeit of blood so great that it flooded his gall bladder, and accordingly I prescribed leeches. Sean's bile should soon flow smoothly once more, and he will no doubt return to his usual irascible self within a few days.

I also prescribed he keep at least 50 yards from this woman, until we discover what about her hath prompted this sudden flow. Jack is on the case.