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November 22, 1677

Good Christian Deals, at Good Christian Prices

Jack and I are afraid that business will soon decrease at the Unicorn as the oncoming of Christmas leads many men to believe that they are more virtuous than they truly are. Men known to visit our establishment and not leave for a fortnight have now taken to crossing themselves and casting aspersions upon the character of upstanding individuals such as Jack and me.

This decrease in earning lead to a drunken night of “idea mongering” in which Jack and I laid out various schemes to increase business. We are quite proud of our efforts, and hope that they are met with a positive attitude from the “ladies” at our owner/employee meeting this morning.

Idea I – All Ankle Spectacular!
– Some gentlemen just like a nice ankle. For the price of a few coppers we will send all of the ladies out with their ankles proudly bare. A curtain shall be lowered so that the gentlemen will be able to enjoy nothing but ankle, which in itself is a treat.

Idea II – The Hen-Pecked Husband
– Jack's idea, and an ingenious one at that. The ladies of the Unicorn do not even have to conduct normal “business” but must simply berate their patron and in general act like a harpy. A great bottom line and in turn we conserve resources. I think this idea spawned from personal experience.

Idea III – The Bucephalus Special – My idea, which I am quite proud of. Simply take some hay from the stable, remove all the furniture in a room, and rename the girl in question “Daisy.” This has historically proven to very popular among Noblemen, and with any luck we may gain the business of the King himself!

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