Patrick, the "Hero"
Thanks to Patrick, we have found our way once more into that Godawful sensationalist rag The London Gazette. They arrived unannounced at my home last night, asking me to "confirm or deny" rumours that Patrick had returned from Indochina with the secrets of a Fountain of Youth, which preposterous suggestion I answered the only way I know how—by whistling for the dogs. And my reward for defending our country against such journalistic hackery? The following write-up, which paints me as some sort of heartless curmudgeon, and makes Patrick look like a heroic and resourceful young adventurer. It seems the only thing that you can rely on the press to print these days is the exact opposite of truth.