A Flushing Toilet
After having mulled it over for some hours, I have decided against turning Sean in to government agents on the offchance of receiving some sort of reward. He is, after all, a good friend. What I shall do today instead is research the possibility of installing a contraption in my home called a "flushing toilet." I was first tipped off to this novel idea by a young gentleman named Wilf, to whom I am greatly indebted for the notion. This brilliant invention, which was first used by Queen Elizabeth herself, evidently uses a system of levers and pulleys to dispose of waste in one's home. Although such an expensive folly is unlikely to catch on beyond a few enlightened households, I must say that I am quite taken with the idea of having one installed. Wilf also mentioned the necessity of finding something called a "plumber" to ensure the smooth running of the contraption, but I shall attempt to deal with that obstacle when it arises.
It is always difficult to find worthwhile diversions on a Sunday, but I am, on balance, glad that I have opted for home improvements instead of sending my friend to the gallows.