Eggs and Bacon
I awoke this morning in the grandest room I have ever had the pleasure to lay in. Now, I’m a simple man and I’m most used to sleeping in the stables. After all, animals can’t rob you blind when you’re in your cups and you can’t see more then a candle’s flame ahead.
Anyways, the room, as I mentioned was grand. Covered from top to bottom in ivory and all matter of fine trappings and my bed covers were made of material that I hope they bury me in. There was a bowl for washing my face (still covered in my life’s blood) and I nice receptacle to relieve the pressures of the previous night.
Of course, despite being surrounded by all this finery, I still get an exact account of my bearings. The last thing I remembered from last night was the behemoth and his companions buffeting me about the head and shoulders. (I do hope Maureen did not witness my disgrace, I might have to hang myself.) As I was still wearing my clothes and my wounds had gone unattended, I had obviously not been rescued by a local doctor looking to shake me a few shillings for his services. I though the best possible recourse was to find the nearest window and take my chances with a mad dash away from the situation I now found myself in.
Then I smelt bacon. Now many things might make a man run, but bacon is not one of them. I followed my nose from down one winding corridor after another till I was presented with the sight of piles of rashers and eggs all heaped on a large wooden table. Being a sensible man I tucked in and made sure to pour myself a large mug of coffee, a beverage with which I only had an infrequent acquaintance.
It was about this time that a very ominous gentleman, dressed to the nines entered the kitchen. “I see sir, that you are enjoying the fruits of my labors.” I being a polite man and a christian thanked him for his help the previous evening and for taking me in as his guest.
“Guest, the great beast scoffed, my boy I have plans to employ you.”
I kindly informed him that I had a job and that though his kindness was appreciated, I had no need of his charity.
“But my lad, I have great plans for you. I think that with my brain and your redoubtable might that we can achieve great things.”
He then relayed to me a plan which deserves its own missive. Suffice to say, he was a madman, but a madman who stood to become very rich if all parties to be involved did their parts properly. It was to involve him, myself, and a friend of longtime acquaintance who entered to break fast at not only a most unreasonable hour (it was at least 3 hours after the cock crowed) but smelled of oils and had all manner of trinkets dangling from his person.
Needless to say, I was not impressed.